Scary Movie: YuGiOh! style
by ndfrk411
Summary: Seeing the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh! get exterminated one by one couldn't get any better! This is a parody about the cast in a Scary Movie 4. R&R! You'll love it!


Scary Movie: YGO Cast!

(Bakura is at home making Swedish Meatballs when the phone rings)

Bakura: Hello?

Voice: What are you doing?

Bakura: Nothing much.  Just making some big, juicy balls.

Voice: Wow!  I love balls!

Bakura: I'm making 100 of them for the kids in my neighborhood at my sleepover.

Voice: Do you like scary movies?

Bakura: Yes!  But I tend to get scared and wet my pants…

Voice: What's your favorite?

Bakura: Umm… Dora the Explorer: Illegal Immigrant!

Voice: What the hell?

Bakura: And Gigli.  That too.

Voice: Would you like to be in a scary movie?

Bakura: No thanks.  After seeing The Exorcist, that was it for me and pea soup.

Voice: Too late!  (the voice chops off Bakura's head)

Bakura (severed head): That was not nice!  I'm gonna sick my hommies on you and they'll give you a rump kicking.

Voice: Their already dead.  I put them into prostitution and they all got shot the first night!

Bakura: I guess I'll die then.

(He dies. Go figure!)

(We go to Yugi's house)

Tristan: Guess what movie I brought over!

 Yugi: Don't tell me it's reruns of Captain Planet.

Tea: Did you know that the voice of that Planet guy was charged on count of statutory rape, drug possession, and getting on google.com and typing the phrase "gangster"?

Joey: What's the movie about?

Tristan: Well, there's this sexy looking girl.  Then she like chants this saying over and over and over.  "Martha Stewart's going to hell. Martha Stewart's going to hell!"

Yugi: Then what?

Tristan: Well, when I watched it, someone called me and said "You're gonna die in 7 days!"

Mai: That was me, you jackass!

Tristan: Really?

Yugi: Let's watch it!

(They put the tape in)

Tea: Yugi, I'm scared…

Yugi: Don't worry.  If you die, I'll make sure and bury you in a pink casket. 

Mai: Look!

(The first scene shows up.)

Yugi, Joey, and Tristan: WOW!  Look at those buns!

Mai: Their just honey-glazed rolls!

Boys: But their sooooo good!

(Then a fat chick comes on the screen)

Yugi: Eww!  That chick is ugly!  Wait!  It looks like Mai!

(They all look at Mai)

Mai: Hey!  I was in a time of depression and gloom!

(They still look at her)

Tea: Waiting for Gucci shoes to go on sale is not a time of depression.

Mai: Only for people who are sexy like me.

Tea: Oh shut up!

Mai: Don't be hatin', player hater!

Tea: What?

Mai: You heard me, foo.  I kick some schizzie from your manizzie!

Tea: That's it!  (Tea throws a knife at her.  Mai then pulls a "Matrix" and takes the knife and chops off Tea's legs.)

Tea: You bitch!

(Then Tea pulls a Matrix, cuts off Mai's head, swings it around her head. Then she gets it stitched and normal speed resumes)

Yugi: Stop fighting!

Joey: Yeah! Well, we could make this interesting and get a mud pit…

Mai: Tea, you'll never win!  I am sexy and you are a slut.

Tea: SLUTS ARE BEAUTIFUL!

(Yugi brings in some vodka)

Yugi: Let's all settle down and have a nice shot of vodka.

(Mai picks up a shot and drinks.  It spills through a hole in her neck.)

Mai: Why are there stitches in my neck?

Tea: Maybe you got neck herpes or something. 

(They fight again.)

Joey: It's no use!  What do we do?

Yugi: Watch this.  I'm an expert.

(He pulls out two grenades)  
Yugi:  Look what I brough!  Chocolate!

Mai and Tea: YAY!  (They chew on the grenades and blow up.)

Joey: No more shouting! You think of everything.  

Yugi: It's kind of cold in here. 

Joey: Yeah, and I took our coats to the dry cleaners.

(They look at the deceased girls' corpses)

Joey: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yugi: Gross!

Joey: No, not that!  Let's make coats from their flesh!

Yugi: I don't swing that way. Besides, there's not enough material to make two coats.

Joey: (evil eye) That can be arranged…

Yugi: Oh crap!  (Joey chases Yugi around the house.  Then Joey trips and get his legs caught under Yugi's statue of Buddha.)

Joey: Help me!

Yugi: No!  

Joey: Please?

Yugi: Okay!  (Yugi, being a full-fledged heron scout cuts off Joey's legs with an axe)

Joey: Thanks!  Wait!  I can't walk!  Damn you!

Yugi: Don't jabber me!  Don't jabber me!

(Yugi escapes into the wood.  DUN DUN DUN!)

Yugi: These woods are really dark… and creepy!  Eww!  I stepped in something!  Oh.  It's just Bakura's spongy remains.  Bakura!

Bakura: Hey Yugi!

Yugi: What are you doing?  Who did this to you?

Bakura: I did.  

Yugi: You committed suicide?

Bakura: No!  I was shaving my legs with a machete!

Yugi: And you lost your head in the process?

Bakura: Okay, I didn't chop off my head.  But the shaving my legs is the truth! I really don't understand how I can talk to you without a head and all.

Yugi: Who did this?

Bakura: I don't know.  It could be one of those IRS people.  

Yugi: You mean Joey?

Bakura: Don't call him that!  It's "He Who Must Not Be Named"!

Yugi: Oh shut up!

Bakura: Is he dead?

Yugi: No, but I "gimped" him.

Bakura: Heron scouts?

Yugi: Yeah.  But don't worry.  We can go back to the house and pour salt on his open wounds!

Bakura: Okay, I guess…

Yugi: Let's move!

(They go back to the house)

Joey: You bastards are back!  Help me!

Bakura: Okay!

Yugi: No!  We're supposed to torture him!

Bakura: Yes, but a good heron scout shows fellow peers honesty and integrity.

Yugi: What does that have to do with him?

Bakura: Nothing.  LET'S KILL HIM!

Joey: Wait!  May I recite my favorite nursery rhyme?

Bakura: Yay!  A nursery rhyme!

Yugi: It better be good.

Joey: Okay.  One day, there was a chicken.

Bakura: Did he have a banana?

Joey: No.  Then the chicken when to his friend's house and had to go to the bathroom.

Bakura: Why?

Joey: Because people use the bathroom when they need to.

Bakura: Why?

Joey: Well, when your bladder gets full, you tend to want to excrete the liquid contained in it.

Bakura: Why?

Joey: SHUT THE HELL UP!

(Bakura does so.)

Joey: Now!  The chicken went to his mom's house to eat supper.  When he got there, him momma took his coat.  Then he sat at the table.  His momma brought him a bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup.

(He pauses.)

Yugi: So?

Joey: Chicken noodle soup!

Bakura: I'm confused.

Joey: ARGH!  His momma got the chicken from the dad!  THAT'S INHUMAINE AND GROSS!

Bakura: Since when has chicken been in chicken noodle soup?

Joey: That's it!  (Joey pulls out a knife)

Yugi: Put that knife back!

Joey: No!  (He then chops off his own head)

Bakura: He sure isn't a good killer.

Yugi: I am!

(Yugi lunges at Bakura.  Bakura pulls out a WD-40 can and sprays it in Yugi's eyes)

Yugi: OUCH!  YOU DUMB FRUIT!

Bakura: Can you cut down on the profanity?  I have the ears of a virgin.

Yugi: Shut the *&^* up, you little *@&*&#*&*(&#*(&#*(&*(#&*(@&*#*(#*(&#*(!

Bakura: Why such hate?

Yugi: @*@&#*#&*@()()())@(@*()*()&*(&#^^!

Bakura: If you say so!

(Bakura pulls out a lighter, lights it, and sprays the WD-40)

Yugi: Ha!  Too bad for you, I use flame-retardant hairspray!

Bakura: Oh really?

(His hair is on fire)

Yugi: AHH!!!  (He runs over to the toilet to extinguish the flames, but it is filled with gasoline)

Bakura: This is great!  All I need is some snacks.  (He gets some popcorn)  Oops!  Forgot the topping!

(Yugi explodes)

Bakura: Yummy!  That will do just fine.


End file.
